Twist It, Cats Style
by Blazenaire Alda
Summary: Basically Admetus is trying to escape from the green 'monster' and he stumbles across some kind of red dot. Sorry for bad summary! I'm really tired been for ages!


A/N: Here's my shiny-brand-new Cats fanfic. Everyone knows that _very_ weird things can come into mind while deprived of sleep… so here's mine! Also, I don't hate Victoria but the story _does_ need an antagonist!

Disclaimer: I do not own Cats. T.S Elliot and Andrew Lloyd Webber are the ones who do. I wish I did but no…

It had been a nice peaceful day until…

"AHHH! 'Metus, get your tail here right now!"

Sighing to myself, I had to run off again. Vicky _really_ had no sense of humour what-so-ever. And being that dancer and everything, it was necessary to get a head start. Why did she have to be so fit?

"You poor excuse for a Jellicle! Where are you?"

'Oh great' I thought to myself, now she is going to kill me. Is it a crime to merely 'temporarily' dye someone's fur green? Girl kits had no sense of humour these days. It was only some slime I found in a puddle!

I could see the green monster gaining on me so naturally I hid. There was a large hole with this bright red dot on it, which caught my attention.

Scrambling into the hole, I noticed that it wasn't too uncomfortable at all. Something was there making it springy and smooth. This wouldn't be a bad place to curl up and go to sleep. Not at all.

"Admetus, tell me where are you! If you don't, I'll get Jenny."

Her voice came closer to me, I could hear her breathing getting louder and louder. If I move, I'm dead. But if I don't move, I'm dead. Jenny seemed to enjoy making me sew pieces of fabric together. Always into some hideous shape or something.

"Hey, Admetus. The green Vicky monster is gone now."

Sighing with relief, at least someone came to my rescue. May the Everlasting Cat smile on dear old Pouncival.

Slowly climbing out, I noticed something slightly odd. Pounce didn't have green legs. Oh great!

"Um… Vicky?"

"What are you gonna try to promise me now?"

"Err… eternal life?"

She just stood there with pure evilness shining in her eyes. Pounce had betrayed me again. Damn him and his obsession with Vicky. Why did nearly everyone have to be in love with her? She just dances, for the sake of the Everlasting Cat!

"Sorry, Metus. Already got that from you."

"What about… erm… the chance to be the best dancer ever?"

At this, the two evil ones laughed at me. Why couldn't I have at least one cat on my side? Just one. That's all I ask.

"Again, I already am!"

Now she was looking very smug. I really shouldda thrown a ball of slime into her face. Then we'd see who was smiling.

"What about…"

Gosh. Can't believe I'm about to say this… I, Admetus was going to say the forsaken words to _her_.

"My undying love for all eternity?"

Victoria just stood there speechless but Pounce seemed to have fainted. Poor Pouncival and his hopelessness!

I needed no further cue to climb back into that comfy hole. With the big red dot and all! But… of course there had to be a but. In this case it was my butt. I wouldn't fit anymore!

Slipping at an alarming speed, I instinctively dug my claws into that red dot. Struggling, I was almost there until…

"CRASH"

"Owch!"

I had fallen straight onto my back. So much for Jellicles always land on their paws or something of the sort. I'll have to ask Jellylorum what is was again.

"Help! I can't see!"

All that was in my view was red. The red dot must of fallen on me and stuck on. After what seemed twenty minutes if trying to flick it off my head, I could finally see again.

Not only Pounce and Vicky were laughing at me, but also Cettie, Electra, Plato and Tumble. Great, now I'm gonna be the funniest thing since Misto mocking Jenny!

"Stop laughing at me. I fell, ok?"

Instead of them stopping, I got the complete opposite response of what I wanted. At least half of the crew were holding their sides together or rolling on the ground in stiches. Oh why did everything have to be so funny to them?

As I recovered from my fall, dusting the dirt off my back, Electra had started pointing at my feet. The red dot wasn't just a red dot. There was also a blue, green and yellow one. Many of them. They had formed a weird pattern on a white piece of plastic.

And of course, I was standing on a green and blue dot.

"Hey Admetus, what is that?"

Electra just continued to stare at the dots and I think she had an idea as she jumped up quite high.

"Its some kind of mat, maybe even a series of patterned splotches designed for the end of a particular limb to inhabit and be changed at a consistent pace."

Of course everyone just stared blankly at her and I'm pretty sure drool began to form in the corner of Pouncival's mouth.

"Wait a minute! Like a game?"

Etcetera started running around like a crazed Pollicle and tackled me to the ground. She was pretty strong when she felt like it.

"If this is to work properly, we need EVERYONE off the mat."

Plato had scared the remainder of us with his extremely loud 'EVERYONE.' Cettie and I scrambled off the mat in a hurry. Victoria had been arguing with Electra on who was going to be playing and who had to manage this… game.

After watching them screech at each other for a considerable amount of time, Electra had given in to the normally white Snow Queen. Most of the slime had come off now but she still was a slight tinge of swamp green. Well not that we had ever seen a swamp but Gus had used the word once and it sounded cool.

"Ok, since Admetus found it. He goes first."

Everyone had lined up next to the coloured mat and I nervously stepped onto it.

"Front left paw on a green dot."

Bending down to touch it, I noticed that it wasn't all that easy to keep my balance. Vicky walked up behind me and stuck her back left paw on the blue dot next to my head.

"You kick me and you will be permanently green."

I hissed at her 'cause she likes kicking me. I had learnt that from the time when I 'accidentally' replaced her shiny piece of glass with a strip of tinfoil. She claimed that the Everlasting Cat gave it to her so she could be a good dancer. That was a lie, well… almost. Not the dancing part I have to admit though.

"Plato, front right paw on a yellow dot."

Victoria had to move slightly so he could stick his paw there, of course she went out of her way to kick me up the back of the head. And cats wonder why I don't like her…

After a while of sticking paws everywhere, from red dot to green dot. From in front of my face to Tumble's tail, everyone was exhausted. Well, except Cettie. Was it possible for her to _ever_ get tired?

"Admetus, you still alive?"

It was Tumble, whispering to me.

"Yeah, only hangin' on by a thread though."

The only way we could talk without collapsing was to whisper, even though having Plato's tail two inches from your mouth did make it a bit difficult.

"Ok, Vicky. Back left paw to a red dot."

Please not the one next to my head. Please not the one next to my head. She was on the left to me but the dot was on the right. My back was leaning on Etcetera's right leg and if someone else had come over then…

"Owch!"

"Hey! 'Metus, my leg's there!"

Damn Victoria's back was on my face and I was slipping until everything gave way.

All that was left was a groaning pile of kittens rubbing their aching bodies and an amused Electra smiling at us.

"Games over, aye? When can I play?"

No one dared to justify that with an answer. Vicky's leg had caused me to fall onto Etcetera whose right arm was on Plato's neck and so on. Everyone had been in a huge Jellicle knot until I slipped.

All of us either moaned, sighed, limped or laughed back to the older cats who just seemed to stare at us weirdly. I doubt I'd forget this night, mainly 'cause of the huge bump at the back of my head but it was fun. While it lasted.


End file.
